2. You bore me. You don't know how to have a conversation. If everything you say is a complaint about your life, your ex, your job...please just hand in your man card.... yawn, get over it. Or don't. Please resist the urge to share. Find a life.
3. I'm old. I'm old dammit. Like approaching 50. Last time I checked....every one of you was panting after 20 year olds. Even you married dudes had an autographed pic of Selena Gomez carefully hidden in your zip files. No go. Go pant over your teenyboppers preferably on another planet and just leave me out of it.
4. You are on eherpes, plenty of fungus and lavaload. All off them, and guess what? Ew. Just ewww.
*full body shiver*
5. There's TV. Like unfortunately, due to Channing Tatum, Liam Neeson and Nicholas Cage you will not receive my attention. I never demanded perfection. But for 12.99 a month Netflix provides it. Sadly, Netflix also knows more about me then you. Present, consistent...without any backtalk.
.
6. You wanna talk about your tire rotation and your dinner. I wanna talk about the way the light is reflecting off the fall leaves. You want to tell me how tough life has been to you and who picked on you in 4th grade. Now you want to show me your abs? Beach, please....I have things to do. Try sending a scan of your brain's activity. Do you see the difference? I do.
7. I know how to create. I endure. You know how to flatuate. I can make life fun, worthwhile. You want to work and then whine about it. You can't roll with it. Stub your toe and you cry. I'd rather be peaceful in my tiny slice of the world. Go twist yourself up somewhere else. I need strength, intellect, perseverance, mental toughness. I have it. You exist, sort of. Why bother?
8. You got more baggage than air Canada. Instead of dealing with it you wallow. You wanna retell the story of why she left you for 300 years. Present, future. They are a new thing we are all trying. Have you heard of them yet? Sadly no. I'm sure there's a chatroom than can see to your needs quicker than I can muster some interest.
9. I still love my husband. He might be dead, but he took the time to know more about me than you ever will. He put in the effort. Think you will ever measure up? Well, he's gone and still more interesting than you. It would sadden me to watch you try.
10. You cheapen reality. You tell me I'm pretty. Dang it, man. You don't even know what I am. It's a lot of things....pretty? Hmm, no. Other days you say I look terrible. Life, doesn't factor into your tiny, judgy thoughts. Perhaps you should woo Maybelline.
