I'm taking a good look at this girl right here. My sweet friend Mary found this picture today and sent it to me. What a strange feeling it is to look at my sixteen year old self, smiling and chubby looking back at me from my computer..
I almost do not recognize this girl even though I know that blue dress and the silly shell necklace. I remember trying to get those bangs to sit straight. Brushing that hair forever and being frustrated when this picture came home on seeing that it did not look brushed enough at all. That happy smile.
I know it was practised over and over until the mouth was in just the right position. A practice session complete with a hand mirror. A trick I had learned in drama class.
Yes, in my un-wild youth,I did homework for everything including picture day. This girl in the photo is just that serious. She wants to get it all right. She gets mad at herself if it is not right the first time. Criticism from anywhere can send her out to do research. A harsh word from a teacher, friend or sibling sent her to the library self improvement section way too often.
I look at her and have an awful lot to say:
Girl! You look 40. What is up with the plain dress matching tights and wanna be pearls? Your friends are currently rocking Duran Duran hair, Madonna bows and petticoats, or jeans and unmatched socks. You are here channeling Maime Eisenhower. You do not have to be grown and professional yet. Middle age will be here quickly enough.
Hun-ney, it is okay not to know. You will realize there are things you will never know. I get that others sometimes lead you to believe that you should know more now; that you should have known some of what you do not. It is not a race. You will get it when you get there. Some lessons you just have not had yet. It does not mean you are less than.
Sweetheart, you are enough. Right here halfway through your teens. You have been enough your whole life and will continue to be. There would be no tragedy if you dropped half of the things you doing right now only for the approval you so desperately seek. Do not believe anyone who makes you feel otherwise.
My Darling Girl, slow down. It is not necessary to read Mein Kampf, Of Human Bondage and Jane Eyre in the same week. The classics will be there tomorrow. Now is the time to learn to play or I am afraid you never will. Stop worrying about the B's. Real life successful happy adults are out here and some of them even disappointed their parents and teachers once in awhile.
Baby the future will still be there. Take note of that breathless rush you are feeling. Stop listening to that mentor that warned that others would run ahead of you. Let them. It does not matter at all. That constant worry of what shall I do about school, career, relationships.... Stop. Take a deep breath. Learn to relax. Teach yourself to relax until you can let this go for an hour, then an afternoon, and then a day. They might forget to tell you that all those things will still be out there waiting.
Now seriously, Cutie, go have fun.
Yes, in my un-wild youth,I did homework for everything including picture day. This girl in the photo is just that serious. She wants to get it all right. She gets mad at herself if it is not right the first time. Criticism from anywhere can send her out to do research. A harsh word from a teacher, friend or sibling sent her to the library self improvement section way too often.
I look at her and have an awful lot to say:
Girl! You look 40. What is up with the plain dress matching tights and wanna be pearls? Your friends are currently rocking Duran Duran hair, Madonna bows and petticoats, or jeans and unmatched socks. You are here channeling Maime Eisenhower. You do not have to be grown and professional yet. Middle age will be here quickly enough.
Hun-ney, it is okay not to know. You will realize there are things you will never know. I get that others sometimes lead you to believe that you should know more now; that you should have known some of what you do not. It is not a race. You will get it when you get there. Some lessons you just have not had yet. It does not mean you are less than.
Sweetheart, you are enough. Right here halfway through your teens. You have been enough your whole life and will continue to be. There would be no tragedy if you dropped half of the things you doing right now only for the approval you so desperately seek. Do not believe anyone who makes you feel otherwise.
My Darling Girl, slow down. It is not necessary to read Mein Kampf, Of Human Bondage and Jane Eyre in the same week. The classics will be there tomorrow. Now is the time to learn to play or I am afraid you never will. Stop worrying about the B's. Real life successful happy adults are out here and some of them even disappointed their parents and teachers once in awhile.
Baby the future will still be there. Take note of that breathless rush you are feeling. Stop listening to that mentor that warned that others would run ahead of you. Let them. It does not matter at all. That constant worry of what shall I do about school, career, relationships.... Stop. Take a deep breath. Learn to relax. Teach yourself to relax until you can let this go for an hour, then an afternoon, and then a day. They might forget to tell you that all those things will still be out there waiting.
Now seriously, Cutie, go have fun.
