A Message to My Younger Self

I'm taking a good look at this girl right here.  My sweet friend Mary found this picture today and sent it to me.  What a strange feeling it is to look at my sixteen year old self, smiling and chubby looking back at me from my computer..  

I almost do not recognize this girl even though I know that blue dress and the silly shell necklace.  I remember trying to get those bangs to sit straight.  Brushing that hair forever and being frustrated when this picture came home on seeing that it did not look brushed enough at all.  That happy smile.  

I know it was practised over and over until the mouth was in just the right position.  A practice session complete with a hand mirror.  A trick I had learned in drama class.

Yes,  in my un-wild youth,I did homework for everything including picture day. This girl in the photo is just that serious.  She wants to get it all right.  She gets mad at herself if it is not right the first time. Criticism from anywhere can send her out to do research. A harsh word from a teacher, friend or sibling sent her to  the library self improvement section way too often.

I look at her and have an awful lot to say:


Girl!  You look 40.  What is up with the plain dress matching tights and wanna be pearls? Your friends are currently rocking Duran Duran hair,  Madonna bows and petticoats, or jeans and unmatched socks.  You are here channeling Maime Eisenhower.  You do not have to be grown and professional yet.  Middle age will be here quickly enough.

Hun-ney,  it is okay not to know. You will realize there are things you will never know.  I get that others sometimes lead you to believe that you should know more now; that you should have known some of what you do not. It is not a race.  You will get it when you get there. Some lessons you just have not had yet. It does not mean you are less than.

Sweetheart, you are enough.  Right here halfway through your teens. You have been enough your whole life and will continue to be.  There would be no tragedy if you dropped half of the things you doing right now only for the approval you so desperately seek. Do not believe anyone who makes you feel otherwise.

My Darling Girl, slow down.  It is not necessary to read Mein Kampf, Of Human Bondage and Jane Eyre in the same week.  The classics will be there tomorrow. Now is the time to learn to  play or I am afraid you never will. Stop worrying about the B's. Real life successful happy adults are out here and some of them even disappointed their parents and teachers once in awhile.  

Baby the future will still be there.  Take note of that breathless rush you are feeling.  Stop listening to that mentor that warned that others would run ahead of you. Let them. It does not matter at all.  That constant worry of  what shall I do about school, career, relationships....  Stop.  Take a deep breath.  Learn to relax.  Teach yourself to relax until you can let this go for an hour, then an afternoon, and then a day.  They might forget to tell you that all those things will still be out there waiting.  

Now seriously, Cutie,  go have fun.  

How Hairy is the Love of your Life?

Ah, the fur babies.....squeegee!

I'm no crazy cat lady. I do love my cat.

I'm not posting signs that say " If my dog doesn't like you I won't either." But I'd still die to share my life with a Bernese, a Newfoundland or an old English sheepdog.

Yes, even my guinea pigs bring me joy and hilarity.

Still the amount of time and money we spend on pets is pretty astounding. In Canada, while only 57% of us own pets it is predicted that we will spend between 6.6 and 8.3 billion on them in 2018. Billions, geez. I should be investing in Hartz and Purina. That doesn't even include our sweat equity. The amount of time we spend cleaning up after them, exercising them, worrying about their happiness and well being. Just hanging out and playing. Mourning them, too.

We adore our pets. I am sure everyone can think of someone who lives for their cat, a friend who's nuts over a ferret, who had to comfort a friend when their lizard died, who knows a least one person who spends a tonne of time caring for fish and turtles or who's crazy in love with their python, and dog people! Oh  those insane people: carting home 90 lb bags of kibble, balancing three bags of treats and a Frisbee and a tube of tennis balls. All while texting to reschedule their lives around the walks, the feedings, the groomings and the Dog Park.



As much love as they give our pets are somewhat inconvenient family members. If we are honest  though I would bet most of us resent the inconvenient humans in our lives with greater intensity.

Your pets don't call at 7am on your day off to ask if you slept well. They don't ask to borrow cash right after your car payment. They don't bring over their pet buds when you just want to sleep.  They never tell your secrets or talk behind your back at the Vet.   I have never heard of a mass shooting attributed to Fluffy or Rover.  They are not known to foist their political or religious beliefs upon you.  Although the occasional cat might stray to the neighbors for an extra breakfast they don't try to sleep with your best friend and break your soul. In fact, even the meanest Siamese won't tell you to lose 20 pounds.  The dumbest Dalmatian won't ask ignorant personal questions.

So it begins to make sense.

We love our pets because they are warm and cuddly, cute and funny.  They also lack the one thing that human relationships have in spades...hurt.  Betrayal. Selfishness.  Even the your nephew's tarantula or the least socialized pet rat cannot steal grandma's pearls, won't rat out your partying butt to your mom or tell your boss what you really said in the lunchroom. As much as they would like to: you won't find them retelling your embarrassing stories from fourth grade or creating new stories about you to further their careers.

Pets rock. It's not a wonder that studies say they de-stress us. Some say Hey they don't love you back, they just want food, they're so much work. Sounds more like most peoples marriages than my experience with my pets. So, like nearly everyone else I know, given the choice, when there's trust to be given, the dark horse I'll be betting on will be Mr. Whiskers.